Dating a widower with a young child
You need to be sure that he is in love with you and that he is over his wife or ex. If they have been used to doing things in a certain way, it is extremely difficult to change bad habits or create new rules. You will need to work through this as a unit in order for your family to move forward and be happy and at peace.
This behavior may end up destroying your chances at a successful relationship. This is also something that you will have to accept. Realize that all partnerships are different and that your bond is unique. Doing so will only leave you feeling incompetent and unworthy of his affection.
Ask your partner what you can do to offer your support and help them adjust to life without their loved one. Provide a comfortable atmosphere for discussion. Failing to do so can leave you feeling as if you'll never live up to his deceased wife's reputation. You need to let them know that they can turn to you at anytime for any reason, to speak about their hurt. Ignoring your feelings can cause more problems if the relationship progresses.
Give him space to reminisce and grieve. They could become distructive or isolate themselves from their peers and home- life. Father's do not really think of the consequences of eating badly, or lack of sleep or even too much television as it has always been left for mom to deal with, whilst dad is at work. Patience is something that you will need a lot of and as long as you try your best to give them all the love that you can, then you will be fine. Avoid changing the subject when he brings her up, or placing his wife on a pedestal.
If you sense that your partner needs time alone, give him that time. Your family will eventually develop and grow with the rules or ideals from both your backrounds, if you work together. It can also end up hurting him more, if you're not comfortable discussing emotionally charged issues. Put the ball in his court.
Discussing your concerns with a trusted friend can help you identify potential issues. It can also help you formulate solutions, if you feel like the impending relationship is worth it.
Women understand that if you eat too many sweets you will get sore teeth, if you do not go to bed and get enough rest, you will not be healthy. Mika Lo Although the dating world is filled with ample relationship opportunities, some are more complicated than others. They will resent you in some way and if not now, later there will come a time where they will hate you and wish for their real mom to be there, instead of you. Put your own emotions into perspective. Just keep in mind that dating a widower can require a bit of extra patience, understanding and a willingness to allow him space to express his feelings.
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